Julia In Wonderland
by shoie1121
Summary: Alice has grown up and now has two children, Julia and Kara, and has, of course, told them of her adventures. After a while Julia gets sick of it and totally forgets about Wonderland all together. But one day, Julia wakes up in Wonderland.
1. Prologue

Hello all! This is the warm-up to my Alice-In-Wonderland next generation short story (which is kinda long, now that I think about it) I currently have written 6 chapters plus the prologue and am still not finished with it. Comment with ways you think I can make it better.

I don't own Alice In Wonderland, cause if I did I'd have published this by now.

Every character in this story is based off of people in my life (All except for Alice, who should probably be ancient by the time my story's set in), and I hope I don't offend any of them.

Prologue

Alice, Julia's mother, had started telling her daughter of her adventures in Wonderland even before the girl could understand what her mother was saying. Alice told her daughter of the hookah-smoking caterpillar, the angry queen that beheaded people minutely, and the Cheshire cat who would fade slowly until he completely disappeared. Julia would listen to her mother intently as the woman told her of the Duchess's baby which had turned into a pig, and of the mock-turtle who danced with crayfish. The child was always enchanted by her mother's stories of the illogical world called Wonderland, where the roses grew on trees and animals spoke, and had always wished that she would have Wonderland adventures of her own. Yet, Julia's eighth birthday passed without a single Wonderland experience, but the child did not give up hope.

But, by the time her 11th birthday had passed, she had asked her mother to stop telling her 'those silly stories about that silly place'. Her mother was sad, for she had always looked forward to telling Julia about Wonderland everyday before bed, and now her only audience was Julia's younger sister, Kara. Though Alice loved both Kara and Julia dearly, Julia was a much better listener than Kara, who always fell asleep before the story was finished.

When Julia's 14th birthday arrived, the girl had completely forgotten about that enchanted place called Wonderland. After she blew out the candles and everyone ate their cake, Julia went over to talk to her friends Zoe B, Amber, and Lily, who had all arrived together. As the conversation continued, her friends Wesley, Cameron, Julian, Tarrin, Connor, and Zoë P joined them one by one. Wonderland never came up in this conversation, for how could one talk about a place one does not remember?

The birthday girl said goodbye to the last of the guests and watched them drive off. Exhausted, Julia climbed the stairs to her bedroom and flopped onto the bed, which had her staring at the ceiling. After a while of staring at the ceiling, the girl decided to get ready for bed, and put on her pajamas before going into her bathroom to brush her teeth.

Teeth brushed and pajamas on, Julia hopped into bed, and smiled as she drifted off into a deep sleep.

Sitting at her desk three months after her 14th birthday party, Julia typed up a paper for her language arts class happily. When she glanced at the clock, she was surprised with how late it was, so she saved the paper (which was finished now), put on her pajamas, and brushed her teeth. She paused a little before she hopped into her bed, which was strange, for she was quite tired and wanted to get under the covers to fall asleep as quickly as she could. As her head lay against the pillow, Julia's mind slowly wandered back to the images she had of her imaginary Wonderland, and of the feeling of disappointment that she had when she never went to the real one. This startled her a bit, but did not stop her from quickly falling into a deep sleep.


	2. Chapter 1

Hi, and welcome to the first actual chapter of Julia In Wonderland, if you have not already read the prologue, then I suggest you read it or you'll be terribly lost in later chapters. Hope you guys like it!

Chapter 1

Julia stretched as the sun crept slowly onto her pillow and into her eyes. She moaned as she sat up, tossed off her purple covers, and slowly got out of bed. As she stood and raised her arms over her head, stretched, and rested them on the back of her neck, she glanced at the clock. Suddenly, her eyes opened wide, and she dashed downstairs screaming, "I'm four hours late for school!! Did you guys think I was gone already? Shouldn't you guys have received the phone call from school telling you guys I wasn't in science?! It's noon on a Thursday, people!! How could you let me-" She found herself in the kitchen, alone, "sleep… in…?" She stared into space, and pinched herself. It hurt.

"Hello?" She called, starting to panic, "Mom? Daddy? Kara?" She got anxious, running all over the house, screaming for her parents, her sister, and, after she had searched the house five times with no signs of life, she even called for her cats. She got no response. She finally sat on the couch, exhausted from running from basement to second story and back again three times, whispering, "I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming!!" She thought for a while, and finally jumped up and walked over to the phone.

Or at least, where the phone used to be. "Fabulous," She huffed, putting her hands on her hips, "My family's not here, the phone's not here…" She paused, and then walked all over the house to see if anything else was missing, when she got to the study, she yelled, "The computers aren't here!" She sighed, and decided to go downstairs to make herself some breakfast, which she admitted seemed pretty dumb and random, but she hadn't eaten anything for over twelve hours, and was really hungry. As she poured the cereal, she realized something about the front door. She turned back and almost dropped the milk, "And the front door isn't here! It's like I'm in a horror film, cut off from all life!" She looked at the windows, "Ha! The windows are still here!!" She gloated as if to an invisible person who had done all this to her, "I can escape through the windows! And there's nothing you can do about it!!" She ran over to the window and, with all her strength, pushed the window upwards. It didn't budge. "Ahhh!!" She screamed, "Why do you hate me?" and with that, marched over to the table, and ate her cereal to calm her down. It didn't help.

She put her bowl in the sink, and walked upstairs to her room, then she got dressed and put on some deodorant (for one gets rather sweaty after running around one's house for half an hour straight). After that, she ran all over the house, trying to open the windows, none of which budged. After going through this process twice, she found herself in the garage, and the garage door was still there. She looked at the button that she would push for the door to open, like a baby would look at its favorite toy. She looked up at the ceiling, squinted at it, and paused for a long time. All of a sudden, her right arm leaped toward the button, and pressed it.

The door opened. She was shocked. She walked outside, glad that she had put shoes on while getting dressed, in a daze. When she got outside, she noticed immediately that she wasn't in her driveway. She wasn't even on a _road_; she was standing in, what seemed like, the middle of nowhere. "Ahh!!" She screamed in frustration, pulling on her hair, "Why me? What do you want?" She then screamed as loudly as she could, toes turned in, knees bent, hands in fists at her side, and eyes closed so tightly her eyes watered when she opened them again. When she stopped, she wiped her eyes, and suddenly spotted something, wait, no: someone.

He was about an inch taller than her, with blonde hair and icy blue eyes, and he was facing the other direction, about a few yards away, "Wesley?" She called out, her mind racing, she had found Wesley, and Wesley would've surely lead her to Zoë, or Connor, or someone else, she was overjoyed, "WESLEY! OVER HERE!!" she waved her arms above her head, waving them frantically. He looked in her direction, blue eyes growing wide as he found her small body, long legs, and brown hair, he blinked, waved- "Oh, Wesley, thank god, I thou-"- and ran off at an almost inhuman speed, hands in pockets. "Wesley!?" Julia screamed, running at her fastest pace after him, "What the hell?"

This chase was very confusing and tiring for poor Julia. It seemed to go on forever, yet she never lost sight of the blonde boy, for, whenever she slowed while going up a hill, or had tripped and hurt her knee, and she thought she had lost him for sure, there he was, hands in pockets, expectant look on his face, blue eyes large. He'd let her get to a mere three feet away from him, and then dash off again, and she'd sigh and continue running after him.

After what was about a mile or so of chasing the boy, Julia found herself by a river, next to a meadow. She looked around for Wesley's blonde hair, but he was nowhere to be seen, so she collapsed in the grass against a large oak tree, a few feet from the river, to catch her breath. This is not what happened.

When she had sat down to lean on this oak tree, she did not inspect it well enough, for it apparently has a huge hole on the particular part of the tree she was meaning to lean against, that was coincidentally just big enough for a girl of her size to fall into and she ended up being pulled by gravity down a hole through the tree that felt like it ended at the earth's core. When her unexpected fall down the oak tree landed suddenly with a _thump_, she opened her eyes, only to have them meet with total blackness. She scrambled to her hands and knees -one knee was still bleeding from the chase, and the fall did not make it any less painful- and put up her right hand into said darkness, where it unexpectantly collided with a wall. Having made this discovery, she put both hands on the wall, and felt her way in almost a complete clockwise circle, until she found a part of the wall that felt different than the other parts of the wall. Feeling this part of the wall for a while, she found what felt like a doorknob, and turned it, first to the left, pushing on the door, which didn't work. When she turned the knob to the right, however, and put her weight against it, it opened, and the total blackness turned into a dim light.

She followed the tunnel, still on her hands and knees for the ceiling was much too low for people of her height to stand up fully without their heads colliding with it, until the dirt floor turned into marble, and the stone walls turned into wood. As the ceiling got higher and higher, the tunnel became brighter and brighter, and when she was fully able to stand, she got up, and looked around what seemed like it could be a fancy dance hall for kings and queens back in the day. She looked up to see chandeliers with bright white candles lighting the room, and turned around to see that the tunnel had completely disappeared. She turned around to fully face the wall where she swore the tunnel used to be, put her hands on her hips, and sighed, "Why didn't I climb back up that hole? Now I'm alone, scared, not to mention dirty, lost, my knee is still bleeding and it hurts like hell, and now I'm in a dance hall with no doors or windows!" Then she suddenly put her hands to her neck, realizing that since there were no windows or doors, there was a limited amount of oxygen, and she would probably suffocate. She sat down, and tried to slow her breathing, not knowing how much time she had left.

After what felt like hours, but was really only a few seconds, a minute at most, she was scared out of her wits by a tap on her shoulder, and a familiar dim-sounding voice asking, "Julia? Are you dead?" She jumped in shock and ended up looking up to see Cameron, his fake-looking bright-red hair unusually bright against the light of the chandeliers, and a goofy smile on his face, "Hooray! Julia's alive!"

"What are you doing, Cameron?" She asked, trying to take up as little oxygen as possible, "Don't you realize we're going to suffocate without windows or-" She stopped, realizing that Cameron had come into the room trough some kind of window or door, "-Wait, how did you get in here?"

"Through the door, you silly!" He jumped up and down once, and then walked over to the one side of the dance hall, "Come on, I'll show you where it is, you look like you need some fresh air."

"No, really?" Julia said sarcastically, getting up and following him, "Hey, where are we anyway?"

"What are you talking about?" He asked, staring at her like she was an idiot, "We're here."

"You say that like I'm asking what my first name is." She pointed out, "And where is 'here', exactly?"

He wrapped his hand around what looked like part of the pattern that lined the walls, and pushed it open with ease. He walked outside as if he was being coaxed by an invisible force, Julia close behind him, kicking herself because she should've known that the walls were not what they seemed, just like everything, and maybe everyone, here. The scenery outside the dance hall was, if anything, prettier than the beautiful field she in which she had fallen down the hole in the oak tree, there was forest everywhere, and the sun was still shining rays of light onto everything, as if it were spring, and maybe it was. When Julia had walked a good three feet or so from the door, Cameron immediately turned around, walked past her briskly, and closed the door, which suddenly seemed lost within the pattern of the outside brick the second he closed it fully.

"Cameron?"

"Yess?" Cameron asked, turning around to face the girl.

"How do I get back?"

"Well," Cameron paused, putting his hand to his chin, "that depends on where you came from."

Julia closed her eyes and smacked her forehead, why didn't she tell him that in the first place, "Well, I came from…" she smacked her forehead again; she didn't know where she came from.

Cameron sat patiently on a rock, and suddenly got a look of what seemed like he was happily surprised, "You mean you don't know where you came from?"

"Not entirely!" Julia defended herself, "I came down the hole in the oak tree, and then followed the tunnel, and into the dance hall, and now here I am."

"But where," Cameron asked, turning his head to the side curiously, "Did you start?"

"In my house." Julia suddenly remembered, "And then I followed Wesley to the meadow," it started to come back to her, and she finished the sentence breathless, as if she was going to forget if she gasped for air, "and fell down the hole in the oak tree, and through the tunnel to the dance hall place, and now I'm here." She pointed to the ground as if to prove her point.

Cameron just smiled the biggest smile Julia had ever seen, and said, "You sound absolutely maaaaaaad." Pulling out the "a" in "mad" for a long length of time, head rotating slowly clockwise, eyes wide.

"You're joking." Julia replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes. She crossed her arms suddenly after seeing Cameron's head starting to rotate to an almost inhuman angle.

"Everyone here is maaaaad." Cameron continued in a voice that would creep anyone out, "Ev-ree-wonnnnnn."

The girl was now hyperventilating from fright, "E-everyone's m-mad?"

The redhead nodded, "Everyone here is mad, Julia. So, if you're here, you must be mad yourself."

This is where Julia put her foot down, literally, "I'm not angry."

"Not that kind of 'mad' Julia." Cameron said in a sophisticated voice, which seemed to Julia to be creepier than his crazy voice, "Go see the Duchess, or the Mad Hatter," As he said this, his body slowly faded, "or the Queen," now his body was gone, and his face started to disappear, "or the…" And then he completely disappeared before Julia could say a single word of protest.


	3. Chapter 2

I don't own Alice in Wonderland, deal with it.

Chapter 2

Julia sat against one of the many trees in the forest, going over in her troubled and confused mind what had just happened in the last few hours. She was pretty sure she'd gotten it right: she had woken up that morning in an empty house that one could only exit through the garage door, then she had chased Wesley to a meadow which held the oak tree, which had the hole that she fell down, after falling down the hole in the oak tree, she had found a passage (which had disappeared) to an eighteenth century dance hall, where Cameron had found her, shown her a way outside, and then he had suddenly faded away, leaving her stranded in the middle of a huge forest, with no hopes of getting back to where she had started.

She rubbed her knee, that had gotten injured somewhere in between the chase and falling down the hole in the oak tree, and had started to hurt. She decided that Cameron might have been wrong, maybe there was a sane person here who could show her how to get back to her house which had her family and a front door in it, not the one that she had woken up in that morning. She decided to look for this person, so she got up with a grunt, and walked around the tree in a circle, looking for a visible path that might lead somewhere, for she didn't want to wander on an unmarked path, for fear of getting lost. She couldn't find one from where she was, so she walked around the row of trees around the one she had leaned against. After the fourth tree, she spotted a purplish path that lead away from her original tree.

Eager to follow it, for hanging around the tree wouldn't do her any help, she walked on the path until she came to a fork. This fork puzzled her, but what puzzled her more were the signs that pointed in each direction of the two different paths. The one that lead to the left, a neon pink sign with purple writing, said "this way". She looked at the one that pointed right, a dark blue sign with bright yellow writing that said "that way".

"Call me old-fashioned," She said to herself, "But I'm going to go 'that way'." And that's exactly what she did.

After walking down for a while on the purple path, Julia came upon a six-legged table in the middle of it, and she couldn't help but wonder aloud, "What idiot puts a table in the middle of a path?" As she approached it, she saw a few things on the table: a small, mirrored box; two small vials with light blue liquid in them; and a small golden key. She picked up the key, inspected it, and decided to put it in one of her pockets in case she came upon the owner of the key. She then inspected the two vials; they looked cool, so she then put those in a pocket, too. Lastly, she opened the lid of the box, and found that there were small chocolate-chip cookies inside, she then took one out to get a good look at it. She rotated it in her hand five times clockwise, and stared at it hard, as if looking at it would tell her if it was poisoned or not. She ended up putting a few in a baggy that she found in her pocket on her right leg (she was wearing her cargo pants with many pockets), and put those in a pocket on her left leg.

Afterwards, she looked up to see that the six-legged table had disappeared! She was less taken back then she would have been, but considering the events that had gone on that day, it was nothing out of the usual. So, after making sure the table had disappeared and not just turned invisible, she continued down the purple path for a few more yards until she came upon a clearing with no trees except for a tree that had been cut down and that now lay on its side. She decided to sit on the log-like tree for a short rest, for her knee was hurting really badly.

As she started to rub her knee, she heard the bristling of the bushes, which startled her. She turned around to see Julian's peculiar face staring at her with the expression of a scared deer on it. She blinked, and after a few seconds of silence, she said, "Uh, hi, Julian."

He waved.

"What are you doing here?"

He stared at her for a long while, and finally said, "Oh! Hi, Julia."

"Hi Julian." Julia repeated, "What are you doing here?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" He said slowly, walking in a half circle, so he was facing the way he had appeared. As Julia thought about this fact, trying to make what the boy had said make a bit of sense, Julian's eyes suddenly glazed over, and he suddenly said, "That reminds me of a story."

Julia, a little taken back from the randomness of it all, was finally able to spit out, "What does that have to do with-?"

Unblinkingly, Julian suddenly screamed, "Would you like to hear it?"

"What?" Julia replied, still a little shaky from the sudden loudness.

"If you insist," Julian said modestly ("But I-" Julia began), "It's called _'Rhymes With Silver'_ and it goes like this:

_"Walruses and Carpenters are not meant to be friends,_

_For everyone knows that it's going to be chaos in the ends._

_Like that one poem, written by Lewis Carroll, (a very strange sir,)_

_Who talked about oysters and how fat they were._

_And isn't the ending tragic?_

_How'd they get eaten? By magic?_

_And why does the poem rhyme_

_Every other line?_

_And how do the oysters talk?_

_I think that monkeys rock._

_Why were the Sun and Moon in the same place?_

_Aren't they farther away in space?_

_And why did the eldest oyster not leave the oyster bed?_

_Did he know what was going to happen in his little oyster head?_

_How can one talk about cabbages?_

_This fact, through my brain it ravages._

_Why can't you blink when you sneeze?_

_Can you feel that gentle breeze?_

_I had a cat once, his name was Fluffy,_

_And my dog's name was once Scruffy._

_Why do people dig to China in cartoons?_

_How do clowns easily twist those balloons?_

_Why is cheese so yellow, and other times so blue?_

_I'm so glad that I finally found you._

_Why is this tale so random, you say?_

_I was asked this just the other day._

_And I answered to him, well my friend,_

_How can something so random, be so popular in the end?_

_What do you mean? He asked, raising his eyebrow._

_I just came up with that, I replied, I actually don't know how._

_Why can't babies talk?_

_And, more importantly, why can't they walk?_

_Why did I tell you this, you say?_

_You will probably get it after I slip away._

_But, before, if I get the chance,_

_I shall do a little dance."_

After reciting this, he danced in a circle. He then turned to Julia, who had been patiently sitting on the log for the whole time and now was close to passing out from all the brain power she was using to try to process the poem and make sense of it. There was then a long moment of silence, and then the boy suddenly blurted, "Did you like it? Did you? Did you? Huh? Tell Julian!"

Julia, finally deciding to stop using up her brainpower for such a useless task, said, "Yes, Julian-" cough "-Thank you very much for telling me that-" cough cough "-interesting story."

"I like chickens very much." Julian said.

"I'm a vegetarian." Julia mumbled, not that she minded, of course, but was just eager of getting out of there to talk to someone with some sense.

"What does liking chickens have to do with vegetarians?" Julian asked, flapping his arms.

"Aren't you talking about liking their taste?" Julia crossed her arms, and realized that he was going to be there a while.

"No, hugging them!" Julian squawked, "The Queen won't let anyone eat them."

"The Queen?" Julian asked with sudden interest; maybe, just maybe, Julian would tell her actual information.

"Yes." Julian said flatly. There was a moment of silence, "She's pretty." Julia sighed; it seemed that Julian was getting her nowhere after all. "Have you heard the story of The Walrus and The Carpenter?" Julian blurted out suddenly.

"No," Julia said as she rose from the log and brushed herself off, "Do you?"

"Yes. It goes like this:" Julian then recited the poem with many grammatical errors and made up verses.

Julia sighed, for she needed to get going along the purple path, so she waved to Julian as a sign of farewell, and headed off to find it, while Julian recited his made up version of the very strange poem.

After walking to the other end of the clearing (which seemed to be quite long), she found the purple path again. She was not quite sure that this was her original path, but she didn't exactly know where the first one lead to, so she certainly couldn't be on the wrong path. "Then again," Julia wondered to herself as she stepped onto the path and walked on, "I might not be on the right path, either."


	4. Chapter 3

Here's chapter 3! As usual, I still don't own Alice in Wonderland. **sigh**

Chapter 3

She had walked on her new (or was it her old?) path for only a short while when she had come upon a small house, two stories high and a total of four feet tall. She stared at this house for a while, not quite sure of what to take it for. In fact, she might've been staring at it forever if a small porter had not just then rung the doorbell of the small house, had given a small piece of paper to the short person, and then promptly ran off into the bush from which it had emerged only seconds ago. The small person stood at the porch and looked out into the distance as if in a daze. From her height, Julia couldn't see the persons' face, only his or her hair, so she had no way of knowing if the person was really a person at all.

Confused by her last thought, Julia held her head in her hands and started to slowly sink to the floor. When she was finally sitting on her feet, the small person on the porch saying, "If you eat one of those cookies in your pocket, my dear, you shall be small enough to get inside the Duchess's house", startled her. She stared at the person, still not able to see his or her face because of the shadows that were casting across it, and remembered for the first time since she had run into Julian that she had the strange cookies in her pocket. She took one of these cookies out of the plastic baggie and put the rest back into her pocket. She was about to bite into it when she remembered that she was smarter than to eat a strange cookie that a strange person had told her to eat.

She turned to the man and said, "Why should I trust you? How do I know this cookie isn't poisonous?"

The small man shrugged, "Who's telling you not to eat it?"

Julia thought about this, who, indeed, was telling her the cookie was poisoned besides the very small voice in the back of her head which no one has time to listen to when one is in a strange place and desperately wanting to just go home. "If, "Julia said aloud, "There's a home for me to go back to."

"Pardon?" The small man asked.

"Oh, sorry," Julia apologized, "I was just talking to myself. I seem to be doing that a lot today." The small man nodded. Julia decided that she would trust this small man's word, and took a bite out of the cookie, leaving half the cookie left. Immediately, she had shrunk to half her normal size, but was still twice the size of the small man.

When she finally had finished the cookie, she was a little taller than the small man, who was not so small anymore, so Julia decided to stop calling him that in her mind. She stood up, happy with her new height, and walked over to the man. As she stepped onto the deck, she noticed two things: one, the house was very noisy inside, and two, the man who was not so small anymore was Cameron.

"Cameron?!" Julia said, shocked.

"Hello, Julia," Cameron said in his 'normal voice', "was the cookie good?"

"Umm… yessss?" Julia said slowly, for she had not actually _tasted_ the cookie, but rather swallowed the bite whole.

"That's great." Cameron beamed, "I made them myself."

Then Julia realized that her unnoticed observation was just unseeingly justified, Cameron was as 4' 7'' when they last met, and now he was 3'' tops, but if he had made the magical shrinking cookies, then the logical answer to the question of why he had suddenly shrunk was answered by the fact that people can eat their own cookies.

As the girl was thinking about this fact, the boy said, "Come on, you _must_ meet the Duchess!" And with that, opened the door and shoved her inside.

She had to get used to the air inside the front room, which turned out to be the kitchen, for unlike the outside air, this air was littered with pepper, which she later found out was coming from the 'soup' the cook was making. When she got used to the air, she found the source of the unbearable noise; a baby was screaming and sneezing in a woman's lap. Or, at least, Julia thought the person holding the baby was a female, it was hard for one to tell, you could only see the back of the person's head.

"That's the Duchess," Cameron said, pointing at the person, "and in the corner is the cook, and the thing screaming is a baby."

"No, I thought it was a pig," Julia said sarcastically, then she sneezed and asked, "What is the cook making? Pepper soup?"

The baby cried, and the Duchess tossed is up and down, as if trying to comfort it. "Now look what you did!" The cook screamed at Julia tossing a frying pan at her and missing drastically, "You made the wretched thing cry, you brat!"

Julia, a little taken back by the name she had just been called, closed her blue eyes, took a deep breath, opened them again, and told the cook, "Shouldn't the Duchess speak for her own baby?"

The cook smiled, as if Julia had challenged her and she had taken it, and replied sharply, "The Duchess speaks in kindness, and it is my job to speak in all other feelings."

Julia was not sure why the cook was so pleased with herself, she seemed to have just downgraded what Julia had thought of her in the first place, and not done herself justice. She then turned to the Duchess, whose back was still not facing the girl, and said, "Why do you let your cook speak for you?"

"BRAT!" The cook screamed, "Learn some manners! You must always curtsey, smile, and address the Duchess properly when you speak to the Duchess!!"

Julia realized that neither she nor the cook had ever addressed the Duchess as a 'he' or a 'she', out of curiosity, Julia walked over to face the Duchess and had a moment that everyone has in his or her lifetime, a moment where you realize someone is not who they seem, "Julian?" she said in shock, "You're the Duchess?"

"BRAT!" The cook screamed once more, "Don't address the Duchess by the Duchess's first name!"

"Who's Julian?" The Duchess, or rather, Julian said in a rather pathetic attempt at a woman's voice, while turning away from Julia, "I'm not Julian."

"Don't play dumb and high pitched, Julian." Julia sighed, putting her hand on her hip, "No woman looks- or sounds- like that."

"I look and sound like this," Julian replied in his high-pitched voice, turning away a little bit more, "and I'm the Duchess. Which, if you did not know, is a role that is played by a female."

Julia tossed her head back and laughed so hard her sides hurt, "Oh, gosh!" Her laughter died down a bit, "and I thought you were a _woman_!" She burst out laughing again, which earned her yet another 'learn manners, brat' speech from the cook, which only made her laugh more.

Julia did not quite know what happened in the few minutes that passed, but somehow she ended up outside the house with the baby Julian was holding in her arms. Dumbstruck, Julia stared at the baby and the baby, in return, had stared back, "What," Julia screamed to the sky, "am I supposed to do with a baby?!" As the baby started to cry, and Julia did her best to comfort it, she thought about how she was going to continue, possibly through life, with a baby that wasn't even hers, and probably belonged to no one. By the time she had thought of three worst-case scenarios, the baby had stopped crying, and Julia decided to get a good look at it, "What an ugly baby you are," Julia thought aloud, "just look at you nose, it's so upturned, it could very well belong to a pig."

The baby's ear twitched atop its head and it squealed, not a baby squeal, Julia realized, but a pig squeal. The baby-pig thing started to squirm, and the ideas of whether to put the baby-pig thing down or not fought in Julia's head. After thirty seconds, the baby-pig thing decided for itself, and landed on the floor with a _thud_, and after recovering from the fall, the now more pig than baby thing scurried away, leaving behind the blanket it was wrapped in.

As Julia stood, dumbstruck, and not quite sure what to do, Cameron poked his head out of the window (letting a puff of pepper out of the kitchen), and said, "Hey, Julia."

The girl turned her head in the boy's direction, still in a daze from losing the pig-baby thing, thinking he was going to say something like, 'Nice going, Julia.' Or 'Where's the baby?' but no, instead the boy said, "The cook _does_ like pepper." And shut the window.

Even more dumbstruck than before, the girl kept staring at the window until the boy poked his head out the window again and said, "The Duchess wants to know what happened to the baby."

"It turned into a pig… and ran off… that way." Julia said as if sleepwalking, while pointing in the direction the pig thing had gone in.

After a few seconds, Cameron poked his head out again and stated, "That's what the Duchess thought would happen." And closed the window, leaving Julia, three inches tall now, to faint with a _thud_ to the ground.

When she awoke, Julia did not know how long she had been passed out, but now had everything that had just happened straight, so she was more than ready for anything else strange and unusual to happen. And something just of that sort happened only a few minutes after she had found her purple path again (or was it a new one? Or was it her first one?), and found herself surrounded by a whole bunch of gossiping flowers.

The key words of that sentence were _gossiping flowers_, but mostly just _gossip_. If Julia had not heard them from three feet away (which is a very long way when you are only three inches tall), she might've been surprised when a daffodil's leaf had moved on its own and felt her hair. When the daffodil had done this, she (and you could tell they were all girls from their voices) said, "Now, just _look_ at her hairdo, Jazzie. Her hair's such an _ugly_ color, not to mention an even _uglier_ style!" And she and the other daffodil laughed, leaves holding their stems.

Julia, quite offended, said, "At least I can _walk_, you dumb flowers." And on this note, she tried to stomp off, but was held up by two other daffodils.

"Omigosh, Sasha!" The daffodil that Sasha had called Jazzie said, "She just told you off! You poor baby!" And to Julia she added, "You _witch_! How dare you even _think_ that!"

"Why can't I even _think_ about it?" Julia snapped, "What I think is none of _your_ business!"

One of the daffodils commented, "Well, ladies, we have a _fighter_ here. What should we do, Maria?" She said to the other daffodil that had stopped Julia from making her exit.

"Well," Maria said, rubbing her leaves together, "I think we should give her a makeover, a _major_ one, what do you think, Spencer?"

"Oh, I agree." The flower named Spencer said, "We could cut her hair!"

"Oh! Ooh! A new wardrobe!" "Makeup!" "Jewelry!" The words came out so fast, Julia couldn't identify which flower was saying what. The words soon came out so fast and loud, Julia knew that the flowers wouldn't notice if the makeovee had left before the makeover had started. That was how Julia left the four flowers, talking about makeup and jewelry and such in their little cluster, as she slowly backed out of the center and dashed off towards what looked to be smoke signals in strange shapes and colors.


	5. Chapter 4

Hey. Here's chapter 4. I don't own Alice in Wonderland, as usual.

Chapter 4

She followed the smoke signals until she came to a pearl-white mushroom with bright pink, sky blue, vibrant orange, yellow, lime green, and bright purple spots. Atop the mushroom, Julia found a rather strange-looking blue caterpillar. His legs (which had yellow shoes that curled at the toes on them) and his arms (which had pink gloves on them) were all crossed. The only two appendages that were not crossed were his two upper arms, in the left he held the end part of the hookah he was smoking, the right was put under the left elbow.

As the girl stood on tiptoe to get a better look at the caterpillar, it looked at her with an uninterested gaze and blew out some of the hookah, which became pink as it twisted and turned in the air, forming the shape of an elephant. Julia watched it as it slowly rose into the air and eventually disappear. After the pink elephant was out of sight, she turned back to the caterpillar again, and the two stared at each other for quite a while.

After sucking in some more hookah, the caterpillar said, while breathing out orange hookah that turned into a question mark, "So, who are _you_?"

Julia recognized the voice immediately as her friend Tarin's voice, "Tarin?" She inquired, face twisting.

"Im-possible." The caterpillar replied, pronouncing the first part of this word in syllables, "You can-not be Tarin, for I am Tarin. You are also a girl."

"What does that have to do with the name Tarin?" The girl asked.

"Tarin is-a boy's name." The caterpillar said flatly, "_That's_ what it has to do with the name Tarin."

Julia sighed, "Tarin can be a girl's name too."

"It would be a very peculiar name for a girl." Tarin replied, taking in some more hookah.

Julia blinked, "I guess."

"I never got your actual name." Tarin said, releasing a red sailboat.

"Julia." The girl replied, and then quickly added, "Julia is my name."

"Jew-lee-ah." Tarin said slowly, drawing in more hookah, "That's an," he stopped to release a blue circle, "inn-teresting name." His tongue rolled on the 'r' in 'interesting'.

Julia did not know if she had just been complimented or not, "Thank you?"

"You are most welcome." Tarin replied flatly, drawing in more hookah.

The two sat in silence as he released a orange rectangle, and as he inhaled again, Julia said, "You really shouldn't smoke that."

"Why, not?" He asked, taking long pauses in between the two words, then releasing a purple 'y' into the air.

"Because it's bad for your lungs." Julia stated.

"But," Tarin said with no emotion, putting the pipe to his lips and breathing in, "it's so much fun."

"Being high?" Julia asked, her words a little sharp, "Tarin, you're losing brain cells!"

The caterpillar exhaled a large pink 'X', "You're wrong."

"How so?" Julia crossed her arms.

"Because," Tarin said, inhaling through the pipe again, "it is."

"What is?"

"It."

"What's it?"

"What do you mean, 'what is it?' It can be a great number of things." The caterpillar exhaled the letters 'D' (in purple) 'U' (in red), and 'H' (in orange) plus a question mark in blue.

"You're confusing me." Julia said, putting her hand to her forehead.

"Then sit down and process it." Tarin said, patting the mushroom.

Julia did so as the caterpillar inhaled more hookah. She then lay down, putting her hands behind her head, and looked at the sky as the caterpillar exhaled a green happy face. Then Tarin poked Julia's shoulder, "Do you see that pattern?" He inquired, pointing at it.

"Yes." Julia said, sitting up again, "What about it?"

"That's how I feel," Tarin said flatly, inhaling the tobacco again, "when I smoke my hookah."

Julia rolled her eyes, "That's how everyone feels when they smoke."

The caterpillar exhaled a red face that looked as if it were yelling, he then pointed to it, and said, "Do you see that pattern?"

"That's how I'm acting right now, right?" Julia said, getting off the mushroom as she said it.

"No." The caterpillar said flatly, "That's you nagging me about smoking my hookah."

"Good bye, Tarin the Smoking Caterpillar." Julia said, walking away and rolling her eyes.

"Good bye, Julia the Idiotic Nagger." The caterpillar called back and waved.

This did not leave Julia in a very happy mood.

Julia had been wandering in the grass for who knows how long when she suddenly found herself in front of what looked like a little castle. Curious, Julia knocked on the large wood door, which was answered by a young girl, who looked to be about seven years old; she had brown hair and was clad in a red leaf gown. Julia asked the girl who was the ruler of the castle. The young girl said in a quiet and sweet voice, "This is the castle of the flower fairies. Do you wish to see the queen?"

Julia needed to use all of her will to not hug the sweet child, instead, she replied, "Why, yes. I would love to see the queen. That is, if she's not busy."

"The queen," The little girl said shyly, "is never too busy." The door opened fully, and Julia saw that the little girl did, in fact, have wings. This, in Julia's eyes, made her even more adorable. The little girl lead Julia through busy market places full of all sorts of different fairies; males and females alike. Finally, they came to another large door, which the little girl knocked on, and opened.

Inside was the stereotypical medieval castle, large carpets on the floors and hanging on walls, large windows, and three tall thrones, upon which sat two female fairies, all of them looked Julia's age. As the girl lead Julia towards the thrones, she realized that she recognized them as her three friends Lily, Zoe, and Amber. Her first thought was running away, for, if Amber did not recognize her, there was a 90 percent chance of Julia being beheaded within her visit to the castle. When she saw that Amber was not wearing a crown, however, Julia decided that she was safe, for if Amber wore no crown, then Lily and Zoe both were above her power-wise and would not let Julia lose her head without having done something really wrong. The little girl stopped in front of the thrones and bowed, and Julia did the same. The three fairies on the thrones nodded in recognition, and the two who were bowing stood up.

As the little girl ran off, Lily said, in a royal fashion, to Julia, "Hello, strange traveler from far-off lands," -Typical Lily.' Julia thought- "I am the Queen of the flower fairies. This is Zoe, princess of the flower fairies." Zoe smiled and waved to Julia in a way that made Julia want to hug her and tell her how adorable she looked.

"And," Amber half-screamed in her usual way, "I'm the queen's advisor. You may address me as Amber."

'I already do.' Julia thought, and then said aloud, trying to get her voice to sound as grand and royal as Lily's was, "It is a great honor to meet you all. I am Julia." He felt like she should say more, so she added, "Julia Hartig."

"Julia Hartig," Lily said in her grand and royal way that made Julia restrain herself from laughing, "what brings you to the castle of the flower fairies?"

Julia hadn't thought about that, "Um… fate?"

"Fate?" Amber full-screamed, "Is that the best you can come up with?!"

"Amber," Zoe said calmly, "it's alright, and, Lily, she doesn't need an excuse to be here."

"I know." Lily said, in a disappointed voice, "It just sounded so cool and royal."

"Off with her head!" Amber screamed suddenly.

Seeing Julia's startled face, the princess said soothingly, "Don't worry, no one listens to her."

"Alright." Julia said, a little relief sweeping over her, "May I ask you a question, queen of the flower fairies?"

"Ask away." Lily said in her grand voice.

"If you are the queen, then isn't the princess your daughter?"

"Heavens no!" Lily said in her grand voice, "The princess is in no way related to me, nor is the advisor."

"The royal family," The princess explained to Julia, "is chosen randomly, or, rather, the prince/princess is chosen randomly, and then in moved up to king/queen when the old king or queen passes away or steps down. There must always be a prince or princess, a king or queen, and an advisor at all times. The advisor is voted on, if you wanted to know."

"Thank you, princess." Julia bowed again, "I understand now."

"Wonderful!" The queen said happily, "Now, traveler, is there anything you need?"

"Yes," Julia realized, "there is. Does her highness have a suggestion on where I should go next?"

"Pardon?" The queen asked, puzzled.

"You see," Julia said, "I'm trying to find my way home, but I'm afraid I will have no home to go back to, so right now I'm just wasting time."

"If I may suggest," The princess said, "you may want to go to the Mad Hatter, he, the March Hare, and the dormouse, are always having tea parties."

"But, my princess," The queen pointed out, "the Hatter is quite larger than our visitor, here."

"That's right." The princess said thoughtfully, "One would need the Cheshire Cat's growing potions."

"Cameron," Julia whispered to herself, "seems to like to make cookies that shrink you and potions that make you grow large. That's strange." She then held up one of the blue vials and said to the queen and princes, "Is this a growing potion?"

"Why, yes." The queen's royal and grand tone sounded a little shocked, "I am impressed, traveler, not many can get a vial of the Cheshire Cat's growing potion."

"Well," Julia said to herself, "I guess, if I have two growing potions…"

The princess got off her throne, and walked over to Julia, saying, "I suggest you only drink half of that vial," observing it closely, "this vial has two servings in it."

"Thank you," Julia bowed, "for all your help," to the princess she said, "your highness," to the queen, "you majesty."

Both nodded and the princess went back up to her throne, "Good bye," the queen said grandly, "Julia Hartig."

The princess waved good bye, and the advisor screamed, "Off with her head!" Again.

The little girl appeared again, and said kindly to Julia, "I am to see you get out of the castle all right." Which she did.

When Julia got outside the first gate she came into, she asked the girl, "Which way to the Mad Hatter?"

The little girl said, "You could get there a number of ways." And closed the gate without another word.


	6. Chapter 5

Have fun reading! I still don't own Alice In Wonderland.

Chapter 5

After the castle door was closed in Julia's face, she wondered if the girl would have given a better reply to the question 'Which is the _fastest_ way to the Mad Hatter's?' instead of just 'Which is the way to the Mad Hatter's?' But, Julia could not alter the past, so she accepted the present situation and took out the vial. As she was about to uncork it, she suddenly thought better than to grow larger this close to the (soon to be small) castle, and walked a few feet away (which took a very long time). When she got a good distance away from the castle, she uncorked the vial and drank close to half, like the princess had instructed, and suddenly felt her head hit something. She looked up, rubbing her head, which had apparently hit a tree branch when she grew.

After the pain in her head went away, Julia wondered which way she should go to get to the Mad Hatter's. Deciding to go to her left, Julia walked quickly, yet remembered to step over the flower fairy castle, for if she had, her good intentions when growing would have been in vain. After stopping to make sure she had not stepped on the castle (which she didn't), she continued to walk in a straight line until she came to the edge of another purple path. Julia sighed, after finding so many different purple paths, she just decided that she had either never left her original path, or she found multiple new ones each time she had to exit one.

She followed this new purple path for a long while until she got to the top of a rather small hill, looked down and saw a small house. Next to the house was a long table, one of the largest Julia had ever seen, with an uncountable amount of chairs at it, surrounded by a light purple fence that connected with the house at one short side.

As the girl approached the table, she saw two people -one with a rather large hat- and a rather fuzzy thing, which looked rather like a dormouse, but twice the size. Seating herself, she recognized Wesley immediately, for he was not taking part in the conversation that was going on in front of him, between the dormouse, which was standing on the table, and the person with the hat, who she recognized as her friend Connor. Almost as soon as she sat down, the teacup that was in front of her chair was immediately filled with tea.

Staring at it, she almost didn't hear Connor say, "It's rude to invite yourself to tea."

Julia blinked and said sincerely, "I'm sorry. There were just so many chairs, I thought-"

"Well, you must not have thought very much." The dormouse said airily, "You really should-"

"-Learn some manners." Julia said as if bored of the conversation already, "Yes, the Duchess's cook told me this."

"Well," The dormouse said, hands on hips, "she must not have said it loud enough."

"What does loudness have to do with anything?" Julia asked.

"Loudness has everything to do with anything." Connor said.

"Exactly." The dormouse said, "Anything to do with everything."

"Connor said 'everything to do with anything'." Julia corrected the dormouse.

"That's what I said." The dormouse huffed.

"That's what you _meant_." Julia said, a little irritated now.

"Same difference." Connor said airily, sipping some tea, "Now you should drink your tea, before it freezes over."

"I didn't know tea could freeze over without the aide of a freezer." Julia said, looking into her teacup to make sure the tea wasn't frozen.

"A _freezer_?" The dormouse asked as if Julia had just said that oranges were the color pink.

"A freezer," Connor explained to Julia impatiently, "does not freeze things, that would be absurd. A freezer is what makes things warm."

"A microwave-" Julia began, puzzled by Connor's speech.

"-Freezes things over." Wesley finished for her.

"No it doesn't!" Julia objected, standing up a little, "You've all got it backwards."

"Do we, Julia?" Connor asked, drinking his tea again, "Or do you?"

Julia thought this over, but only got to the conclusion that the dormouse sounded an awful lot like her science teacher.

While Julia was deep in thought, Connor suddenly dropped his teacup and said, "Move down! Move down! Move doooooowwn!!" And then Julia was roughly pulled from her seat and thoughts and put at the head of the table, three seats away from where she was sitting before.

A little startled, Julia asked, "Why did you _do_ that?"

"Why not?" Connor asked, then, holding out a teapot to Julia, "Tea?"

"I guess." Julia gave in, holding out her cup, which was given some tea.

"Sugar?" The dormouse asked, holding a spoon in both his hands.

"Please." Julia said, trying to be polite, and held out her cup again.

"How many spoonfuls?" The dormouse asked.

"Two or three." Julia said kindly, as if they had never quarreled about nothing.

After two and a half spoonfuls were put into her cup, the dormouse asked, "Which planet is the hottest in our solar system?"

Julia, a little puzzled said, "Why, it's Mercury, we're learning that in your science class."

"I didn't know I had my own science class." The dormouse said, "But if I do, I must not be teaching it very well, for, as everyone knows, Jallapie is the hottest planet in our solar system."

"Jallapie?" Julia said, puzzled, "I've never heard of that planet."

"That's because it's not a planet at all." Connor said, "You are very dense, Julia."

"What is Jallapie, then?" Julia asked, a little frustrated.

"Jallapie," The dormouse said, "is a kind of cake that is served at yunchtime."

"Lunchtime?" Julia asked.

"Heavens no!" The dormouse said, "There is no such thing! Everyone knows that you eat yunch around noon, this time is called yunchtime."

"Yunch?" Julia asked.

"Yes." The dormouse threw its hands up in the air, "Yunch is what you eat at yunchtime, which it around noon.

"Why are you so dense today, Julia?" Wesley asked quietly.

"I'm not being dense!" Julia said, rising up from her seat a little again, "You guys are making things up!"

"Explain." The dormouse said, sitting on a little chair on the table.

"_You_ said that Jallapie is the hottest planet in our solar system," Julia said through her teeth, "and then said it's a cake you eat at yunchtime!"

"Goodness, you have a bad memory." Connor said, "He never said anything about Jallapie."

"I do _not_ have a bad memory!" Julia exclaimed, "It's _you_ who has the bad memory!"

"Goodness!" The dormouse exclaimed, "You _must_ learn to control your temper."

"And _you_," Julia said, quite pissed off now, "should learn how to get your planets straight!"

"Planets are not usually straight." The dormouse said, "They are round-"

"-I _know_ what they are!" Julia almost screamed, "And I know what order they're arranged in, from the Sun out; Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto, which is _actually_ a planetoid!"

As she huffed, Connor said, "Where _do_ you come up with such strange planet names?"

"_Everyone_ knows," The dormouse said, "that the planets are never in order, and tend to bump into each other when they decide to run."

"Planets don't _run_!" Julia said.

"Shows how much _you_ know." The dormouse said, "I know more about the planets than you do, for, as you say,_ I_ have my own science class."

The dormouse had Julia far off the end of her rope by now, "No, you don't!" She screamed, fully out of her chair, "You know nothing about the planets whatsoever, you're far too short to be a teacher and you're not human!"

"There's a height requirement to be a teacher?" The dormouse asked in a puzzled tone.

"NO!" Julia screamed as loud as she could, "But I highly doubt a _dense_ dormouse such as yourself could possibly _dream_ about teaching middle school science!"

The dormouse blinked, and Connor said in a disappointed tone, "You really must be kinder to-"

"TO WHOM??" Julia screamed, "WHOM!!"

"Calm down, Julia." Wesley said calmly.

"Easy for you to say!" Julia screamed at him, "You haven't been told a number of wrong things by a dormouse and a boy with a unbelievably large and dumb-looking hat!"

"You think my hat is dumb-looking?" The dormouse asked.

"You think I'm a dormouse?" Connor asked.

"No," Julia said, settling down from her sudden rage, "the other way around."

"No need to scream." The dormouse said.

"I've already screamed." Julia said, rubbing her forehead, "But if you want me to scream at you, just tell me."

"No thank you." The dormouse said politely.

"But I'm not a dormouse." Connor said.

"I never said-" Julia began.

"There you go," The dormouse said, "screaming again."

"But I'm not-" Julia said miserably.

"Stop screaming!" Connor said loudly.

20

"I'm not!" Julia said.

"Stop screaming!" The dormouse repeated for Connor.

Julia rolled her eyes, and turned to Wesley, "Do they do this to you, too?"

"Stop screaming." Wesley said.

Julia closed her eyes hard and turned her head to the sky. There was then a long moment of silence. The dormouse then said, "Do you think she's dead?"

"I don't know." Connor said, "Julia, nod if you're dead."

This made no sense to Julia, who stayed motionless.

"She's just sleeping." Wesley said.

"I see." The dormouse replied.

"Well," Connor said in a taken-back tone of voice, "That's rather rude."

Julia then tilted her head so it was in line with her body, opened her eyes, got up from her chair, and said loudly, "Goodbye, Connor, Wesley and dormouse!"

She started to leave, when the dormouse said, "That's DT to you."

Now wondering what the T stood for, Julia ran off in fear of getting sucked into another conversation about nothing.


	7. Chapter 6

I hope you guys know by now that I don't own Alice in Wonderland.

Chapter 6

After Julia had gotten to the other side of the gate that surrounded the long table, she found her purple path again (and she thought about how dumb it was that this place had so many purple paths, or one really big one), and continued to walk along it. Since she had no idea of where she wanted to go, she didn't care where the path brought her.

Julia followed this path for the longest time without running into anyone (or thing), and she started to think that she was coming into the part of Wonderland (which is what her mother had called it) that had no residents (which her mother hadn't run into). Julia suddenly stopped and hit the side of her head like someone who was getting water out of their ear after swimming, "Why," She asked hitting the side of her head again, "am I thinking about my mother's adventures here? Wonderland's obviously changed in the last forty years; all my friends are occupying the roles of the characters my mom described and then some." She sighed, and walked on, "Besides," She went on, "if I was in Wonderland, then either the flower fairies are a new kind of Wonderlanders, or my mom grew before she got to the castle." She was so absorbed in her thoughts, she was taken by surprise when she ran into a closed gate and rebounded onto the ground. She looked up, and saw that she had just run into a gate connected to nothing. "The architects here must be very high." Julia mumbled, walking around the gate, "What is the purpose of a gate that's not connected to a fence?"

"Yes," A voice said behind her, "but what is the purpose of a gate that is connected to a fence?"

Julia turned around and saw Cameron, normal size once again. She stared at him for a while, and finally said, "What are you talking about? Everyone knows that gates that are connected to fences help people get in and out of the enclosed space made by the fence."

"But what is the purpose of a fence around a house," Cameron asked, "if you want people to come and visit you?"

Julia never remembered them talking about a house, but all the same she replied, "It keeps to people who are not welcomed to said house in."

"Why would you not want someone to visit you?" Cameron asked.

Eager to change the subject, Julia said, "Where are we?"

Cameron answered, "Why, we're currently in the queen's garden."

"The queen's garden?" Julia asked, a little puzzled, "Isn't this a bit huge for her?"

"Not that queen, Julia." Cameron said as if it were common knowledge, "This is the regular-sized queen's garden."

"How many queens are there?" Julia asked, more confused than before.

"There are three queens, Julia," Cameron said, "everyone knows that. The small queen rules the flower fairies and the small animals of the gardens, the large queen rules the birds and the animals of the sea, and the medium-sized queen rules everything and everyone else."

"I guess I'm not everyone then, am I?" Julia asked, a little ticked off now.

"Nobody can't be Everyone, just like Everyone can't be Nobody."

"What?"

"Nobody can't be Everyone, just like-"

"I know what you said!" Julia said, on the end of her rope, "It just makes no sense whatsoever!"

Cameron looked puzzled, putting his hand to his chin and stroking it. He suddenly stopped and said to the confused and angry girl, "Oh! You don't know Nobody, do you?"

"I know _plenty_ of people!" Julia said, quite angry, "I'm not the kind of person with no friends! And you should say, 'you don't know _anybody_, do you', which is proper English!"

Cameron looked very amused while saying, "No, Julia, Nobody. As in Miss. Nobody."

This made Julia even more confused, "You stopped making sense around the time I got here, Cameron."

"No." Cameron said, a little impatience in his voice, "If you don't get it, I'll introduce you to him!" With this remark, he roughly grabbed the girl's wrist, and pulled her away from the gate and to the left.

After they had walked a while, Cameron finally let go of Julia's wrist that now had a red mark on it. As she rubbed her wrist, Julia commented, rather annoyed, "You could've just said 'follow me' instead of almost dislocating my wrist."

"Then you would've asked a bunch of stupid questions." Cameron said, climbing up a small hill.

"Stupid?" Julia said, "For every 'stupid' question I've asked, there are at least seven stupid comments you've made."

"You really should have listened to the cook." Cameron muttered.

"I'm sorry?" Julia said impatiently, "I couldn't hear you."

"We're almost to Nobody's house." Cameron said quickly.

Julia, completely taken over by her anger, stopped suddenly and said, "Is that where we're going? An abandoned house?!"

"No, the house belongs to Nobody." Cameron shook his head in aggravation, "You should pay better attention to what people are saying to you."

"But-" Julia stopped, for she knew that if she protested Cameron would just make her even madder than she currently was. It was after this thought that Julia came to the top of the small hill and saw a little cottage at the bottom of it.

"That's Nobody's house." Cameron said, pointing to the cottage, "I'll introduce you to her."

"Nobody?" Julia said, finally realizing the Nobody was a person, "That's an odd name for a girl."

"Then she must be a boy." Cameron said.

"No." Julia said, calmly as she could, "It's a strange boy's name, too."

"Alright." Cameron said, "Nobody is a girl again, she will be so pleased."

This sent Julia into an even steeper stage of confusion. As they approached the door, Julia found out that the paint on the cottage was a pale pink. "That's a pretty color," Julia said thoughtfully to Cameron, "against the faded brown door and window frames."

"What?" Cameron asked as he knocked on the door.

"Right," Julia said, "you're a stereotypical guy. I forgot."

Before Cameron could reply and make Julia's blood bubble, the door opened, revealing a small girl dressed in an off-white dress that reached her ankles. She had the biggest brown eyes Julia had ever seen, and seemed to never blink.

Cameron smiled at her and said, "Julia, this is Nobody," He turned to the girl and said, "this is Julia."

The girl nodded at Julia and said something very quietly, so quietly that Julia could not understand what she had said. There was a moment of silence while Cameron and the girl called Nobody stared at Julia expectantly.

"It's nice to meet you too." Julia finally said, not knowing what she needed to say to satisfy the two. It apparently had, for the next thing Julia knew, the three of them were sitting in a small sitting room drinking scorching hot tea.

Julia stared at her cup and put it down, never to be touched again, "Thank you," she said to the girl, not sure why or how she knew that the girl had made the tea, "but I was just at a tea party."

"Second door on the left." The girl said arrogantly.

Julia was a little taken back, "No, I don't need to go to the bathroom. I just don't need anymore tea right now."

"There is no such thing," The girl said, looking into her teacup the whole time she spoke, "as too much tea."

"Everyone knows that." Cameron said.

Julia sighed, "Well, I'm not everyone."

"Let's hope not," Nobody said, still staring into her teacup, "Everyone is a male."

Julia smacked her forehead, "Sorry, I didn't mean Everyone. I meant that I didn't know that."

"A lot of people don't." Cameron said.

Nobody nodded, "Certainly. But only a few."

"True." The boy said.

Julia was still lost.

"This is wonderful tea." Cameron said kindly to Nobody, "Did you make it from scratch?"

"No," Nobody said modestly, "I already had some made."

"So you did make it from scratch?" Cameron said, raising an eyebrow.

As the two went on about the tea, Julia realized that she really was quite forgotten by the pair. This pissed her off. She got up and promptly left in a huff. Neither Nobody nor Cameron seemed to notice her leaving.

As she continued back to the garden, she found a dirt path (which wasn't purple), and followed it, happy that she didn't have to think about the purple paths at the moment.

At the end of the path, she found a flat golf course-like field with multiple people, she recognized only one, and that person was Julian. She went over to Julian, standing stick-straight, and said to him, "Jul- I mean, Duchess, how are you?"

Julian turned to her and said in his ridiculous high voice, "I'm fine Julia dear. How are you?"

"I'm fine." Julia replied quickly, "What's happening here?"

"Oh," Julian said, still high-pitched, "we're playing soccer with the queen."

"Which queen?" Julia asked and then regretted.

"What do you mean?" Julian said, a little disgust in his high-pitched voice, "The queen who owns this garden, who else?"

"I'm sorry." Julia said, "Where is she?"

"Over there." Julian pointed to a girl with long brown hair in a long red shirt that reached to her knees, soccer cleats and shin guards whose back was to them.

"She doesn't look very royal." Julia thought aloud.

"No one looks royal while playing soccer." Julian sighed.

Julia nodded, feeling a little dumb for not thinking of that.

"She's pretty, though." Julian said.

"Well, I can't see her face." Julia said absent-mindedly.

"If you want to see her face," Julian said impatiently, "Then call her over."

Julia hadn't thought of that, but couldn't help but ask, "How should I address her?"

"There are many ways of addressing queens." Julian said, "There's 'your majesty' and there's 'your highness' and countless others."

"Excuse me!" Julia called to the queen, waving an arm and cupping a hand to her mouth, "Your highness!"

The queen turned around, and Julia recognized her almost immediately and almost regretted calling her over. She whispered to Julian as the queen looked around to see who had called her, "Do you know who that is?!"

"Yes." Julian said flatly in his regular voice, "The queen."

"Not just that!" Julia hissed quietly, "That's also Zoë P.!"

"Yes."

"Will she recognize me?"

"Why would she recognize you if she's never met you before?"

"You there!" The queen said loudly to Julia, "We're a player short, you'll be against my team."

"Alright." Julia said meekly.

"The queen kicks the soccer ball hard." Julian stated, high-pitched again.

"I know." Julia said desperately, "That's why I need to get out of here if I want my shins in tact." But, as she had spotted the exit and was trying to not be noticed while leaving, the whistle blew, and Julia already felt the pain in her shins.


	8. Chapter 7

Hello all, and welcome back to another exciting adventure with Julia in Wonderland. I hope those of you who have more than an IQ of 36.85 know that I don't own the original story (Alice in Wonderland) that this one is based off of.

Happy reading and please review!

Chapter 7

As Julia and her teammates got to their positions, Julia scanned the team on the opposite side in hopes that she might actually live long enough to see the end of the game. She spotted Chantal, Alexis, Sarah, and Gayelin on the opposite team, already in their positions on the other side of the field. She sighed, glad Zoë's soccer team wasn't against her, for they all played competitive soccer, and she would be in her grave before a goal was scored. Looking back at her teammates, which consisted of the 'Dutchess', Jenny, Monica, and Ellen, Julia spotted the Queen coming towards the field, a small, fluffy thing in her hands. As the Queen got closer, Julia noticed that everyone was getting into position and her first reaction was that the Queen has coming onto the field with a very fluffy ball.

She was half right. The 'ball' was actually a living chinchilla. Surprised, she was pushed onto the halfway line and told to face off against the Queen. She was so surprised at this that she forgot about the ball being a living animal and turned her attention to not have her shins broken.

The Queen kicked the ball behind her and the game thus began.

When the whistle was blown for the half-time break, the score was 147 to 9, and half of the players on either side were limping. Julia had not seen any fowls and the points were given correctly, but she did not think that the Queen's team could have scored 147 goals in only a few minutes. Walking over to the water cooler, she heard 'the Dutchess' sighing over the fact that they were going to lose again. This confused Julia to some degree, the teams seemed to be picked randomly, and Julia had only played this game, so she decided to go and join the conversation.

"And I said that the Queen should just watch." Gayelin said miserably, rubbing her shin, "She kicks very hard."

"I agree," the Dutchess said in his high-pitched voice, "but the Queen loves playing too much.

"We should just forfeit." Monica said absent-mindedly.

Her teammates gasped at this statement and Julia just had to ask, "What's so wrong with forfeiting?"

Her teammates looked at her like one would look at a monkey in a zoo, "What's wrong with forfeiting?!" The Dutchess squeaked.

"Everything's wrong with forfeiting!" said Jenny.

"We can only forfeit if we're losing by more than a thousand points." Ellen said disbelievingly to Julia, "You should know that!"

Julia felt like a loser for not knowing this, but realized that she had nothing to feel bad for after a few seconds.

The second whistle was blown and the game continued.

As the final whistle blew to mark the end of the game, Julia's team was facing a loss of 328 and a half to 26. How the Queen's team got half a point, Julia would never know, for at that moment, Cameron came running up to her, screaming about something Julia couldn't make out.

As he came within earshot, Cameron screamed, "Run while you still can!"

"Why?!" Julia yelled back to him, she had done nothing wrong.

"You are going to go to court!" He yelled back, now only a few feet of her.

"Why?" Julia asked to Cameron, who was now only a few inches from her, "I didn't do anything against the law, did I?"

"No." Cameron stated, "But the Dutchess did. She left the baby in the hands of a teenager who let the baby run away."

"But it's not his!" Julia said to Cameron, forgetting that everyone here thought that Julian was a female.

"It's not," Cameron said, "or it wasn't, that baby was the Queen's niece."

"It turned into a pig." Julia said in a confused tone.

"Because it wasn't exposed to enough pepper before going outside." Cameron said sounding irritated.

"Oh." Julia said, "But why did he let me take the baby outside?"

"The cook gave it to you." Cameron said, "She said it would teach you responsibility and shoved you outside."

"She was in no state to be lecturing me about that." Julia huffed, "She knew that the baby would turn into a pig without pepper."

"No she didn't." Cameron stated, "No one did."

"Then why is the Dutchess going to court?" Julia said irritably, "He didn't do anything wrong!"

"But," Cameron said, "as the Queen sees it, the Dutchess knew, and now she (the Queen) is going to have children of her own to keep the royal family on the throne."

"What's wrong with that?" Julia asked, "And isn't she a little young to think about that now?"

"She's positive she's going to want to play soccer for the rest of her life," Cameron explained, "if she gets pregnant, then she won't be able to play for a few months."

"I guess." Julia shrugged, "But shouldn't the next in line for the throne be the Queen's offspring anyway?"

"Not according to her." Cameron said.

"You two!" A voice called to them, "Stop dilly dallying or the Queen'll have your heads!"

The two rushed off the courtroom, which was conveniently placed close to the soccer field.

"Order! Order!" The judge yelled. The courtroom fell silent. Julia fidgeted nervously from her spot on one of the many benches in the courtroom for people to watch, this was all her fault! She should've given the baby back, or had tried to hole on to it longer. She winced, if Julian was beheaded, she'd never forgive herself.

"Julia!" Cameron whispered to her, "I hope you don't get in trouble!"

"What?" Julia hissed back, "I can get in trouble for this?"

"Of course." Cameron whispered back, "Anyone who the Queen finds guilty can be executed."

Julia gulped, this wasn't good.


	9. Chapter 8

Hello, and welcome to a much-needed and overdue installment of Julia in Wonderland! I have not gotten the coyrights for Alice in Wonderland, so Lewis Carroll still owns them.

Enjoy and review!

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Chapter 8

"The trial of the Duchess versus the people is now in session!" Spoke the judge as she hit her gavel upon the desk in front of her. Julia couldn't see the judge herself, but she sounded familiar. Trying to look around the people in front of her, but with no prevail, Julia heard Cameron whisper something to her along the lines of, "The judge dislikes people being antsy in her courtroom."

"What if they need to go to the bathroom?" Julia asked absent-mindedly, giving up on seeing around the thick crowd of people around her.

"They should have gone to the restroom before the court started." Cameron replied.

"But we were all rushed into here immediately after the soccer game." Julia reported.

"Were we?" Cameron said slowly.

"Well, ye-" Julia started to reply.

"Duchess," The judge said loudly, cutting Julia off, "How do you plead?"

"A lot!" Julian squeaked, "I promise I didn't let the child go-"

"That's enough out of you!" The judge said, "Let the first witness to the case take the stand, a Mr. DT"

Bewildered, Julia watched the small rodent walk down the aisle towards the witness stand, "Do you swear to speak English, not lie too much, and make sense, so help you Dog?"

"I don't have much of a choice." The rodent replied.

"You may take your seat." The judge said, the rodent did so, "So, DT,"

"Yes." The short mammal replied, "That's me."

"Yes, I see. Now, DT," The judge continued, "When did you see the child run past your house again?"

"Twenty to three yesterday, your judgliness." DT replied.

"But I saw-" Julia began.

The courtroom exploded with, "Shhh!"

"Two fourty yesterday, eh?" The judge ignored the loud hiss, "Are you pretty sure?"

"Not really." DT said without hesitation, "The tea's caffeine is making my memory quite shot." He added.

"I see." The judge said, "So, you're saying you're not a very liable witness, sir?"

"I guess so." DT shrugged.

"Thank you, sir." The judge replied, "You may step down."

"You're welcome." And the rodent got off the stand and walked out of the courtroom.

"So we just wasted five minutes?" Julia whispered to Cameron, a little irritated.

"Yes." Cameron replied, "Wasting time with useless witnesses is half the fun of court."

Julia was about to comment on how pointless that was when the judge called her next witness, this time it was Wesley, who was issued the oath, but nodded instead of speaking. Thinking this would not sit well with the jury, Julia realized that there actually was no jury present. Upon asking Cameron why there wasn't a jury, she was replied with, "Why do we need to have a jury? That would only make the process make more sense."

"Is it not supposed to?" Julia asked in shock.

"Why would it?" Cameron asked.

Puzzled, Julia turned back to the courtroom, where the judge was asking Wesley, "Now, sir," -for apparently Wesley was not issued a name-"when did YOU see the child turn into a pig?"

Silence met the courtroom as Wesley stared at the judge with a blank expression for a few minutes.

_Isn't he going to say something?_ Julia thought.

Apparently not, for the judge then said, "Thank you, sir, you may remove yourself from the courtroom."

Wesley nodded and dashed out of the courtroom. The next witnesses were called, and the tiny queen and princess were carried in on a pillow, but they were no help as well, and exited the courtroom shortly afterwards.

Thinking that no one could really help now, Julia heard Miss Nobody called to the stand. She was sworn in, and took her seat to the same question, "When, Miss Nobody, did you see said child turn into a pig?"

"Seeing as she is Nobody," Julia whispered to herself, "and no one but me saw, I guess it makes somewhat sense."

"Well, ma'm," the girl replied, "I don't have a very clear memory of the time, nor do I remember what day it was, but I do remember whom I saw with the child."

"WHOM?" The queen, who had apparently been sitting in a high seat next to the witness stand, screamed, "They shall be punished!"

"But it was not said person's fault, your majesty." Nobody calmly said in Julia's defense, "The cook of the Duchess stuffed the child into the accused's arms and shoved said accused out the door, leaving said person helpless against the child's transformation."

"I. Don't. Care." The queen replied impatiently, "Now spill it."

"It was Julia Hartig, your majesty." Nobody replied, pointing to the girl. There was a sudden silence and Julia had a spotlight put on her (which came from nowhere in particular), blinding her.

The next moment, Julia opened her eyes to, not the dark crowd in front of her, but many faces staring at her and a person with a book (which seemed to be titleless), reading, "Do you swear to speak English, not lie too much, and make sense, so help you Dog?"

"How did I get here?" Julia asked.

"Be seated." The judge said to the girl ("But I didn't-"), "Now, Miss Hartig-"

"How dare you?" The queen cut in, "Now I have to find another child!"

"Why don't you have your own child?" Julia replied, she didn't care what happened to her, for he had then decided that this world made no sense, so there was a large chance that 'punishment' was actually something enjoyable, such as a cash reward, or some candy, or something along the line of that; but it was an even larger chance that this was just a bad dream and she would wake up the second she was declared guilty.

"I. Don't. Want. To." The queen replied shortly, "Why. Don't. You?"

"That doesn't make sense!" Julia stood up, "But I guess it fits into this misfit world, because NOTHING here makes a LICK of sense, and I know all of YOU, but NONE of you know ME. And everything logical I say is suddenly illogical and dumb, and… and…" Julia took a deep breath, "I just want to leave and go to school, and tell this to my SANE friends, the REAL ones, and we'll all laugh, because this world is so REDICULOUS!"

The courtroom was silent.

The queen's eyes bulged wide, but she then closed them, and she laughed, "You poor, insane thing. Thinking logic smart. And sense being important." The courtroom laughed with her as she finished this speech.

Outraged, Julia looked to the courtroom at all of the crazy replicas her friends, and said to them all, "What's wrong with you people? What's so funny about this? You're all crazy, and illogical, and uncivil, and none of you can make up your minds about what gender you are-" she nodded to Julian-"or what a jallapie is or how something freezes or how loudness effects things or what order the planets are or if planets run or what yunchtime is-" ("What's yunchtime?" the dormouse asked Connor)-"and who heirs to thrones should be in relation to queens-" she glowered at the queen- "or if Nobody is a girl or a boy-" ("I'm a boy?" Nobody said confusedly)-"or if smoking is bad, which is IS, Tarin-" ("I must disagree." Tarin puffed out)-"or if there's just one purple path or a trillion little ones or if 'this way' and 'that way' are actual directions or if pepper turns babies into pigs!" She then turned to the queen and waited for her reply.

But before the young queen could reply, Wesley suddenly ran into the room and handed the queen a small sheet of pink paper. The queen read this small paper and then looked to Julia and said, "Your mother's here to pick you up."

"Excuse me?" Julia asked, disappointed with the response.

"Your mother." The queen explained, "She's waiting for you to come to the ballroom and go home."

"That's what I've been trying to do!" Julia cried, "I can't get back up there!"

Wesley blinked at her, and grabbing her elbow, ran off, dragging her out of the courtroom, through the queen's soccer court, through the garden, past Connor's house, past the flower fairy castle, past the flowers (who were still talking about makeovers), through the field containing the mushroom on which Tarin sat, past the Duchesses house, through the forest and into the ballroom. He then let go of her elbow (which would contain a large bruise on it the next day), and started to walk out of the ballroom as if nothing had just happened. Confused and slightly irritated, Julia called out to Wesley, "Where's my mom?"

The boy jerked his thumb toward a hole in the wall that led to a tunnel paved in marble.

"But how-" the boy left- "..do I get back up." Julia finished in a disappointed tone. Sighing, Julia faced the tunnel again. With really nowhere else to go, Julia slowly walked into the tunnel.

Her thoughts rushed as the tunnel got dimmer; was she going to suddenly wake up and realize this was a dream? She got on her knees; how was she going to get up the tree again? would there be a ladder? Her hands touched the cold dirt as she crawled; had she really wasted a whole day in this silly place that no one would believe existed?

Her head hit a wall.

Well, friends, that was the last chapter of Julia in Wonderland. I apologize for the cliffhanger, but that is how it ends. If all goes well, I might write "through the sliding glass door" soon.

As stated above, reviews are loved, and I want to know what you guys think.

Thank you for reading! :)

~Shoie


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